Sunday, May 13, 2012
How important are lists?
We are a culture obsessed with lists. We like when our child gets into a college on one of the many U.S. News and World Report top college lists. We like when our school system shows up in Boston Magazine’s best school list. We like when our school has top MCAS scores, sports championships and awards for art, drama, science and math. When we don’t make a list, we fret. What do we need to do to make it next time? What resources should be devoted to this goal? These are valid questions that should be examined. We also need to ask ourselves how important is the list versus the others things that we value? Do lists blind us to things that might be more important? For example, a friend, coming from a private middle school with a large drama…
Saturday, December 3, 2011
'Tis the season to remember high school.
It is high school reunion season. I recently attended my 30th high school reunion. I went to New Providence High School in N.J., recently put on the map by the movie, Win Win. Unlike other reunions, nearly everyone there had high school-aged children. I have found myself thinking about high school as my own children go through. I remember silly things like my geometry teacher stabbing his pencil through my paper to help me understand how a line intersected a plane. I remember a cheating situation in biology where someone stole a test and shared answers. Amazingly, no one was caught. I remember the college applications and the competition. We wrote papers by hand or used typewriters. People smoked cigarettes at school and the …
Saturday, November 26, 2011
How can we get them to spend time with us?
A friend once told me that she paid her teenagers $5 go out to lunch with her. She did it because it was important, she told me. And, because teens don't always want to sit and talk to their parents. I am not necessarily recommending that we pay our teens to hang out with us, but I think the premise, that we must find ways to talk to them, is valid. With teens, it is easy to fall into a constant nag trap. They are busy with school, sports, activities and their social lives. When they come home, there is homework, dirty rooms and chores. They always need rides and money. Even the most wonderful teens exist in their own orbit. They are at the center of their universes. While there is a certain charm to the self-loving teen — what …
Saturday, July 2, 2011
When Siblings Are Away
Having siblings provides so many advantages for children. One of the biggest advantages is that there is always someone to blame. Lights left on? That was my brother. Front door open? That was my sister. Toilet clogged, again? That was no one. Apparently, no one used the bathroom. At least siblings are unified in knowing nothing about it. For the past week, my house has been missing two siblings as they are off on various summer adventures. The two remaining at home have mixed feelings. Clearly, there is less laundry and much more ice cream in the house. At the time of departure, the two staying home speculated that the current supply of ice cream would have a chance of lasting for days rather than hours. This has proven correct. …
Saturday, June 25, 2011
There is other work to be done.
Every now and then I look at my house with someone else’s eyes and it’s not a pretty sight. My own eyes barely see that a few toilet paper holders are jiggling and that we need a paint job in nearly all the downstairs rooms. If I imagine that I am someone else seeing my house, then I notice things. We mean to replace my son’s broken doorknob, but with all the running around and the general living of life, there are things that just don’t happen. We probably think they have only been broken for a few weeks when in reality, it is a few years. In the classic movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” Jimmy Stewart gets angry when the end cap falls off his banister for the millionth time. It’s obviously been broken for a while, but only bothers him that …
Mary DeChillo
4:55 pm on Saturday, December 17, 2011
Thanks, Sandie, for sharing this story. Sadly, there are still some Mrs. Coopers around who fail to recognize the potential in each child, but hopefully these are outnumbered by school personnel who inspire. My brother has a similar story to tell--he was told by his high school guidance counselor not to bother to go to college after high school in 1969, but to join the service(perhaps his … more ›