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Health & Fitness

Understanding "GOP-Speak". A Political Glossary.

ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION n. the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by the Republican party in the 2012 election year. Read more...

 

Much of the political news in recent weeks has centered on the Republican Presidential Primary Elections. Since the vast majority of us who live in Massachusetts are not members of the Republican Party, I thought it might be helpful to explain the meaning of some basic terms commonly used by the adherents of GOP doctrine.

Alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.

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Birkenstock n. A radical rock concert held in 1969.

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils.

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Class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.

Climate change n. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.

Compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie 2. Patronage saint.

Electile dysfunction n. the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by the Republican party in the 2012 election year

God n. Senior political adviser.

Growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.

Gun control n. The index finger, usually on the right hand.

Healthy forest n. No tree left behind.

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million.

Hussein, Saddam n. A good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Laziness n. When the poor are not working.

Leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working.

Liberal(s) n. Followers of the Anti-Christ.

Neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.

Ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.

Patriot Act n. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.

Proletariat n. A type of cheese

Pro-life adj. Valuing human life until birth.

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million.

“Standing Tall for America” A phrase meaning firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

Simplifiy v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

Voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout.

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