I am inspired to write this column by my son Jake Powell and Peter Hale, his close friend since the day the two met in first grade.
Their story belongs to children in fields and gyms all over our country.
They were the kids with the concave chests in third, fourth and fifth grade. They were the kids who played right field and batted ninth. They were the ones who often struck out, sometimes with the game on the line.
Fast forward 10 years and they are the two students from Swampscott High School to advance, in individual sports, to the all-state tournament level in their respective sports, wrestling and track. Only the top six finishers in each state division, in their respective events, advance to this level.
Friday night, they sat in my kitchen, both wearing their MIAA tournament sweats and T-shirts with the names of all the qualifiers printed on the back. They compared their medals, happy to share in each other’s glory, proud of each other’s accomplishments.
They are not thinking about their Little League baseball days. They had fun regardless of their skill level. I am the one who thinks about that and I think about it often as both a cautionary and inspirational tale.
I think of them when I watch my younger child’s games or hear the sideline stories from parents of still younger children. There is a tendency to label a child as a good or bad athlete at a young age.
No one should ever be counted out. Kids grow, mature and find their passions. Kids get into shape and start to work hard. No one should be counted in, either. Kids get lazy, find other interests or take dangerous detours.
At some point, any sport will demand training and perseverance. Kids who are sailing along on raw talent will stall if they don’t put in the work. Others who enjoyed larger stature will see others grow taller or stronger. Some will flounder when their parents are no longer dictating their play time.
The child who cannot hit a fast pitch might be willing to run miles to perfect his time. The child who is unwilling to practice pop flies in the backyard may be willing to drill takedowns for hours in a smelly gym.
Jake and Peter’s success didn’t just happen. They found their passion and ability in different sports. They combined talent with hard work. They capitalized on opportunities, trained, strived and achieved.
If you would have asked the question, back in the Little League or youth soccer days: Who here will be a star in high school? It is easy to remember who would have gotten the nod. Where are they now?
It’s a mixed bag. Some have taken unfortunate detours into risky behavior, squandering talent and opportunity. Some are still swinging the bat well and setting impressive statistics. Some shine on other fields. It’s unpredictable.
What is clear is that these two would not have received any votes in that straw poll. Yet, here they are. It’s a privilege to bear witness.
Mary DeChillo
12:29 pm on Sunday, February 19, 2012
Well done, Amy. I can only hope that frantic parents (as I once was) of younger athletes learn to trust their sons' (and daughters') choices when it comes to sports. Jake and Peter learned that you can pivot from the "norm" and become both a fine individual performer and a team member.
In the years since, my own sons, now in their 20's, they have stated that they simply liked being part of a team--whatever team, whatever sport and whether or not they got much playing time. Neither of them were youth sports or high school "stars". They just liked being part of something greater than themselves, being part of a group.
What they now report is that they didn't like was seeing the darker side of sports when adult coaches made decisions for the wrong reasons--decisions that changed the trajectory of some players' lives too early on. My sons' teammates, in whatever sport, had a sense of fairness that seemed to escape some coaches. One son at age 14 turned down an invitation to be a member of the All-Star team. When he got off the phone after politely but firmly telling his coach "no", I said to him, "you know that is the end of_______for you in this town". He matter-of-factly said "yes, I know that" and immediately started playing another sport which he played for 4 years on varsity. I worried that he would regret his decision.
He does not regret that decision--he says now that it was then that he started to really grow up and think about the future.
Chris Egan Heisler
8:47 pm on Sunday, February 19, 2012
Amy! My sister read this article to me over the phone today! I'll have to say I had a moment and asked her to send me the link. I have two boys. Our oldest who is 11 found his passion pretty early on. He has been crazy about baseball as far back as we can remember. He loves the time of year when he is playing 7 days a week between his travel and house teams. Although this passion may change as he grows it's been pretty consistent for 9 years now! I'm a bit envious since it wasn't until my 30's I became passionate about something and finished my first marathon in 2010. Our youngest son who is 9 has played soccer, baseball, football, and has taken ice skating and hockey lessons. He loves snow skiing, running and most of all enjoys science and engineering. I have been worried that he hasn't found his thing and know how silly that sounds...really he is only 9! I loved the part where you wrote "no kid should be counted out...and no kid should be counted in". My husband from Florida didn't play organized sports until high school and went on to play football at the USAF Academy. It's all unpredictable. Thanks for the reminder!
Congrats to Jake and Peter for finding their passion and "running" (and "wrestling") with it! ~Chrissy Alexandria, VA
Kate Sullivan
10:32 am on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Amy,
I too have a child who found his passion as a high school athlete. Well said!!
Kate Sullivan- Foxboro
Linda
1:15 pm on Wednesday, February 22, 2012
I saw your article on ma.milesplit.com. I really enjoyed it and have sent it along to a few other moms that I know. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.